Shifting the Narrative: The Beauty in the Energy You Bring

Introduction

Let’s be real—there are days when you just don’t feel it. Hormones, stress, whatever it is, sometimes your body doesn’t feel like your friend. Lately, I’ve been seeing more talk on social media about the phases of menstruation and how they affect confidence. Like, your luteal phase hits, and suddenly, self-doubt is knocking. And if you’ve ever felt like your period (or menopause) made work ten times harder, you’re not alone—Deloitte’s 2024 Women @ Work report found that nearly 1,000 women out of 5,000 surveyed felt this way. But honestly, we don’t need stats to tell us what we already know.

For me, body image stuff started young. Like, second grade young. I remember looking around at the other girls in my Catholic school uniform and noticing my body was bigger. My arms, legs, stomach, even my sweaty palms—it was all on my mind. But at the same time, I was too busy having fun with my friends to let it stop me. I had a blast in hip-hop dance classes, I made a fool of myself in the swimming pool, I was naturally high on life. And now, as an adult, I realize beauty standards and conversations of different diets have always been there, but so has love—for our friends, our families, ourselves. And that’s what I want to talk about: shifting the focus from impossible beauty standards to the kind of beauty that actually matters.

The Power of Kindness and Gratitude in Changing How You See Yourself

I was inspired to write this after seeing Leah Kateb from Love Island give her boyfriend a Twinkie before she took one for herself in a YouTube video about “having my UK boyfriend try American snacks.” And in that tiny moment, she just looked so much more beautiful to me. Not because of how she looked, but because of her small kindness—putting someone she loves first. It hit me—when I focus on being kind to the people around me, I stop being so hard on myself. It’s like a shift in energy.

Gratitude does the same thing. There’s actually a term for it in positive psychology—the Psychosocial Model of Gratitude. It’s about recognizing the good in your life and how others play a role in it, which leads to feeling more supported. And when you feel supported, it’s easier to be kind to yourself and strangers. It’s easier to stop spiraling into insecurity and negative self-talk.

For example, I’m grateful my body carries me through long days on my own, that I can go to the gym with my friend Siya and laugh between sets. Even if I don’t always love what I see in the mirror, I’m grateful I can shift my mindset and try again tomorrow. The support from the women at the Keenan Center for Entrepreneurship makes me feel more beautiful. The support from my mom and my girlfriends does too. Every day, I’m reframing that Debbie Downer voice of body imperfection into one from the positive women in my life who love me for the energy I bring into the room.

Reclaiming Beauty Through Positive Affirmations

Affirmations used to feel a little redundant to me, but they really show over time. Today I wrote: I savor every bite of my food. I feel light in my body. I’m grateful for a body that supports me. Just little things. Simple reminders. Because how we talk to ourselves matters.

Embracing Your Unique Beauty

If no one’s told you today—you’re beautiful. You just are. The way you show up for your friends and family, the way you exist in this world, that’s beautiful. We all have cellulite, stomach rolls, “bigger bones” (as my mom would say with a wink). That’s what makes us human.

True beauty isn’t about looking perfect—it’s about how you feel about yourself and the way you treat others. Sometimes, shifting that perspective isn’t about forcing yourself to believe you look good, but about taking the pressure off entirely. Slowing down from the whirlwind of stress, taking slow blinks while breathing into the present, and remembering happy things—like my dog Niko getting excited every time we go into the basement because he still remembers the obstacle courses my sister and I made for him as kids. That’s the kind of energy that makes you feel good in your skin.

Conclusion

If you’ve never tried writing affirmations, set a timer for two minutes and just try. If you don’t know where to start, Pinterest is where I get my ideas—whether it’s about healthy eating, success, positive relationships, or anything that aligns with the woman I want to be and the life I want to create.

And hey, science even backs this up—Dr. Gail Matthews at Dominican University found that people who write down their goals are 42% more likely to achieve them. So why not give it a shot? Two minutes today. You might surprise yourself.

And just in case no one’s reminded you—you’re already beautiful to me. 💜